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POP IT OR DROP IT? That is the question!

Five Considerations Before You Propose

Marriage equality is fast becoming a reality for all Americans across the country. Before you “pop the question” or answer it, engage with your partner and explore these five areas that can contribute to the start of a long, healthy and happy relationship.

1. OH,  BY  THE  WAY…MOM’S  STAYING  FOR  A  FEW  MONTHS.

Life Priority Issues

Are you willing to fully welcome your partner into your life and make them a priority? What are your current life priorities in addition to your relationship? We all juggle many different priorities including work, family, friends and social life, volunteering, etc. How does committing to and nurturing your relationship with your partner rank in your priorities? This is a critical consideration, especially for couples who may have existing children and/or other family responsibilities. Write down your top 5 priorities in your life and make time to have a serious discussion to explore and examine how the dynamics of your priorities will impact your decision making as a couple.

2. AN APPLE A DAY WON’T REPLACE MY VIAGRA.

Health and Wellness Issues

What are you and your partner’s current health concerns – physical, psychological and emotional? Full disclosure of what is going on for you and your partner is an essential step in starting off on a successful relationship. How might health and wellness concerns impact your relationship in terms of work, family, friends, social interaction and intimacy? Have a full, open discussion so there are no surprises.

3. WE’RE GOING ON SIX MONTHS WITH THAT “HEADACHE”!

Intimacy and Sex Issues

While you think you might already have this covered, we’ve all known couples who say “the magic is gone” far too soon for one or both of the partners. What is the distinction between intimacy and sex for you?

How important is sex and intimacy to both of you? Does one partner have a higher sex drive? Examine and discuss how will you keep your passion alive on a daily basis including date nights, sexual roles and preferences and when it’s ok to say not tonight.

4. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WATCH ‘SCANDAL’???

Living and Lifestyle Issues

How will you define your current living situations? Will you keep separate residences or combine? Can both of your style preferences be honored in the combined space? Does someone snore? There could be life changes down the road that you should both be aware of (having a child or a surviving parent move in). Keep track of areas of concern from who really puts the control in the remote to who hogs the blanket.

5. MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING

Financial and Economic Issues

Money may not be able to buy happiness but it can destroy it in a heartbeat. How will you define your economic and financial well-being as a couple? What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours? Split everything 50/50? This doesn’t have to be a “one size fits all” policy.  In fact, it’s healthy to decide how you will balance, barter, and bargain your way to a better budget!

While there are many other considerations that need to be explored and examined, these five areas are a good starting point to establish a solid foundation of understanding and mutual respect in core relationship areas. So grab your pad and pencil and start engaging before the engagement!

Doug Cureton is the Founder and Lead Consultant for CreativiTEAM, Inc. in Fort Lauderdale, FL. He designs and presents interactive workshops and seminars in many areas including this new workshop  ‘POP IT OR DROP IT?’ Visit his website at CreativiTEAM.com.